PMDD & The Sudden Urge to Divorce … or break up. Whether it’s friends or a lover… the urge is there… but why?
There’s a special kind of panic that happens about seven to ten days before your period …a moment where you look at your partner, your marriage, your entire life… and your brain whispers:
“What if we just ended this whole thing… preferably now?”
Not gently. Not rationally.
More like: burn it all down, dye your hair teal, move to a cabin, raise goats, and never speak to another human again type of energy.
And you more than likely … cannot stand them. Them… as in your partner… and maybe even humans in general.
The strangest part?
You don’t want a divorce … not really. Not in the daylight hours of your follicular phase, at least.
But while the rage of Pmdd is racing through your veins? … off with their heads!
Suddenly everything feels like:
• “They don’t help enough.”
• “They don’t care about me.”
• “This relationship is doomed and I should run right now.”
• “They breathed too loud …it’s over.”
And none of this feels exaggerated in the moment. It feels like truth. It feels like they need to go… now.
Maybe you’ve asked these questions….or typed these phrases into your web browser…
• “Why do I want to divorce my partner before my period?”
• “PMDD makes me want to leave my marriage.”
• “Why do I hate my partner before my period?”
If so. It’s not you. It’s probably not even your relationship.
It’s your delicate brain chemistry taking a nosedive when progesterone rises in the luteal phase.
That shift causes:
• Low serotonin
• High irritability
• Heightened threat perception
• Emotional sensitivity
• Rejection sensitivity dysphoria
• Panic + hopelessness
• A desperate need to escape anything stressful
With a flip of a switch, your partner becomes a “stressor,” even if they’re the sweetest … like a cupcake shaped human…. you may suddenly have an urge to set them on fire a little and you don’t really know why.
Sound dramatic?
That’s because PMDD takes normal emotions and turns the volume up to 400%.
A dirty dish becomes disrespect.
A tone of voice becomes a betrayal.
A forgotten errand becomes proof they don’t care.
Their existence suddenly feels like a burden.
It’s not logical …it’s neurological.
With Pmdd, suddenly everything is just too much… even relationships.
PMDD makes escape feel like the only way to survive.
And while this may not sound like a textbook symptom, I think it’s worth mentioning. Too many of those with Pmdd are experiencing the exact same experience. You aren’t alone, even though Pmdd makes it feel like no one could possibly understand.
We do.
I can’t count how many times I told my husband it was over. Today, with PmDd under control, we’re the happiest we’ve ever been.
Please remember … You’re Not a Bad Partner. PMDD Is Just Loud
If you’re here searching for answers because you’re wondering:
• “Why do I want to leave my relationship before my period?”
• “Does PMDD cause relationship problems?”
• “Why does PMDD make me think I hate my partner?”
• “Why do I feel trapped before my period?”
You’re not alone.
You’re not broken.
You’re not doomed for divorce.
You’re experiencing a hormonal storm that makes everything feel heavier than your nervous system can handle.
But when your hormones regulate again?
Your real feelings return.
Your clarity returns.
Your love returns.
You return.
before you go
Before you draft that imaginary divorce email or mentally pack your bags for the 2nd time this month, remember:
You probably don’t actually want to run away from your partner.
You want to run away from PMDD.
And that’s so very valid. Who wouldn’t want to?
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Until next time…
