Too long don't read:  I’m chasing peace instead of profit and helping others survive PMDD. Living slower. Laughing more. Breathing actual air instead of WiFi.

SeaPaint didn't just launch, it exploded, and when it did.. it was absolutely beautiful. Magnetic. Colorful. And rarely dull. 

If you were around back then, you may still remember parts of it.

One minute, I was mixing my favorite colors in my kitchen, chatting with all of my crafty friends that I had met in the deepest, darkest parts of internet (craft groups)..covered in paint, dancing through crafty chaos, and the next... I had contracts, employees, teams, warehouses, storefronts and a borderline illegal amount of spreadsheets to attend to.

And somehow, what I had started as a quirky dream that would free me from having to wear corporate pants 5 days a week, turned into me working nearly 24/7, wearing those dreadful pants all over again. You know the kind.

Rigid. Restrictive. Very likely polyester or something as equally itchy. With taunting buttons and seams that feel like little petulant gremlins, just pawing at your existence, perhaps hoping for it to end. Anyhow, enough about the horrors of corporate pants.

What I’m trying to say, is that what you and I built together, this big beautiful, colorful adventure...somewhere along the way, it took over my entire life. 

By the time I had finished the tour, meeting fans all across the country, and publishing my third book, we'd sold a million jars. 

My phone was chronically buzzing in the most momentous, glorious way. But if I'm keeping it honest, there were downsides to this. I was rarely present in my own life. My inbox was never empty and as hard as I tried, I couldn't seem to keep up. It soon became my own virtual Mount Everest. Nearly impossible to climb. 

One day, in a state of overwhelmed panic, (thanks PMDD) I deleted the entire contents of my inbox, just to have a fighting chance with a clean 
"slate".

Hint; it didn't work. Instead, my phone just became an extension of my body as I tried to keep up with notifications. 

Despite the panic, the long hours, the intense amount of responsibility, and the colorful chaos... I loved it. Lived and breathed it even. But I soon began to spend every waking moment, chasing algorithms instead of real adventure, instead of real memories.

Somewhere between 100,000 orders and moving across the country, it dawned on me that I was no longer living my life, I was monetizing it. Marketing it. Chasing algorithms and something called "social media trends"? And yet, I couldn't quit.

I was full steam ahead, with no end in sight. Until my health took a drastic turn and I finally couldn’t push through it.

I finally had no choice but to stop. 

Which is around the time you heard that SeaPaints would be closing.

I don't know who was more devastated, my customers who had somehow turned into friends, or me... the perpetual dreamer that didn't even know who I was anymore, without this colorful dream, living vicariously through me.

So, begrudgingly, I shut it all down. 

In the stillness that followed....clarity crept in.

Through illness (long story I won't be boring you with), I lost several parts of myself, but what I gained was perspective. Beautiful clarity. Gratitude. And even a little maturity (finally).

As a result of my new found perspective, I left social media and traded it for patreon. (a place where I follow some of my own favorite artists, authors, and creators - bonus - no ads and no news channels.) 

Patreon keeps me in touch with my community of familiar faces, without the "heaviness" of social media. You can follow me there if you'd like.

Instead of chasing chaos, algorithms, and analytics, I started chasing something else. 

Stillness. Peace. Healing. Love. Good conversations with sprinkles of joy in between. Quiet evenings. Books. So many books. I even started writing again, getting lost in the musings of my mind, one colorful dream at a time. 

Life is a lot quieter these days, filled with nature, family, home-cooked meals, joyful crafting, and soooo many books. 

With my new found free time, I finally have time to pursue other passions. Like helping others navigate through the horrors of PMDD. (After spending three decades barely surviving PMDD myself, I know all too well how debilitating it can be.)

If you're still reading this, I do finally have a drop of good news for you. 

While a full blown operation of SeaPaints is no longer in the cards, I've decided to do something weird and wonderful.

Starting in 2026, I won't be returning to social media and chasing algorithms, but ....SeaPaint will return....for 1 day, each season.

For one day, each season, the website will spring to life, allowing you to stock up on your favorite paint brand. 

While this business model is unconventional, it will allow me spend a few weeks each season, to focus on business, and my remaining free time, helping the pmdd community. After spending 3 decades in survival mode, I learned a few tricks along the way and it's time for me to be the person I needed all those years ago. Someone to reel me in, gently. With love, logic, empathy, clarity, and solutions.

The jars, the colors, the chaos...they’ll always be part of me and my story. But now, they’re just a few chapters behind me while I focus on the big picture: healing, helping, and living a little slower...ideally, mostly pantsless.  

So I say all of this to say, this isn't goodbye.

It's see you soon.

PMDD page

— JessSea 🌊